Copyright Adam Schlosser
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Copyright 2005 Adam Schlosser


Posted by Pip

F11- Come And Knock On My Door

Murdoch studied quick thinking and problem solving at a night course in sitcom plotology. In all fairness though, maybe he's hoping Lust will just leech Filo dry or something. That seems like a thing, right? Or safety in numbers. Get enough of your insane friends together and somebody is liable to set off a fire alarm and end the date quickly. When in doubt, always claim they're your roommates and/or cousin from a wacky foreign country.
My sitcom references aren't even current!


Long, I'm vulnerable to plot holes Review: Justice League: Doom- DC does a pretty decent job on releasing their animated features but not many of them have risen above a “that was all right”. Doom primarily does a nice job with the changes to the character designs. I hated the Wonder Woman in the JL show, especially whatever the heck was going on with her face where her cheekbones were trying to force their way through her skin. I didn't get that but here she looks probably the best out of any of her animated appearances. She still has the asinine outfit and is a pretty lame character (why/how does WW fly?!) but she's tolerable. Superman still has that weird pretty boy look to him that doesn't suit the character or Tim Daly's voice but it's nowhere near as atrocious as in the last movie. The bad guys definitely look amazing. I love the skeleton design on Bane's mask and crazy anime transformer Metallo is the best Metallo (sadly, Malcolm McDowell isn't doing the voice). They even manage to make the Hall of Doom in the swamp look cool and Green Lantern is actually fun! He makes some decent constructs and isn't a stick in the mud. I liked the Justice League TV show and I love the Green Lantern but the John Stewart GL is so tedious. Cyborg is a pretty boring/bizarre addition to the team. They overload him with abilities so he can overcome or do anything when the plot calls for it and the only interesting Cyborg has been the TV Teen Titans Cyborg.
So the characters are mostly all pretty good, but the story is fairly dumb and not even in the usual “superhero comics are kind of dumb” way. I haven't read the original comic series yet and I hear the methods are different but some of the "grand plans" to take down the JL members aren't exactly amazing super villain plots. "Let's have Bane punch Bruce Wayne a lot" isn't a great stroke of genius. And in the end, the plans are almost all REALLY half-assed and easily overcome. Bane beat and humiliated Batman yet still left him alive, relatively unhurt, and with the tools to escape. It's just lazy writing. The plan to destroy Wonder Woman is little more than “WW is kind of dumb, let's just have her kill herself”. Every one of those plans could have worked with only some basic common sense. You beat and humiliate Batman then you just snap his neck. The Superman plan was great but why just leave him? Or put one in the chest and one in the head. Green Lantern was completely depowered and, again, could be killed by snapping his neck. Granted, my desired resolution to the movie would be bad for sales and make children cry, but you can at least come up with plausible ways to escape the death traps. The movie explicitly calls out that The Flash can become intangible, walk through solid matter, and is basically just invincible, yet he's completely overcome by the threat of a bomb exploding. Couldn't he just run out to the middle of nowhere, become intangible until the bomb explodes, stop vibrating, and go on his merry way? The big fight at the end is just as lazy. Superman just straight up decides he doesn't want to be vulnerable to Kryptonite anymore, beats his bad guy, and flies off. And for the love of god, find a new way to defeat Bane already. How many times has Batman won that fight by just cutting or pulling out the Bane's tubes? Shouldn't they be armored by now or shouldn't Bane have a backup source or redundant systems? In closing, villains, seriously, stop being stupid and just snap your rival's neck already.