Copyright Adam Schlosser

Copyright 2005 Adam Schlosser

Posted by Pip

UP35- What Goes Around

Empress won't let something as minor as bodily mutilation put an end to this fight so quickly. And if there's anybody that deserves her face driven into the ground and a few cheap shots to the gut, it's probably Chastity. She's been a bit of a jerk lately. So will it be a team-up of Lust and Empress against Chastity for vengeance? Will it be Lust and Chastity against Empress to save the world? Or will it be one great big huge free-for-all of mutual disdain? Check back next week!

The December podcast is available on the Community page via the button on the left of the site or direct download here:

It's a shorter one I recorded over the holiday break but there's still plenty of talk of Sins, punching, viewer mail, and vidja games! I do mention something that's going to happen on Sunday's Mercs page so maybe delay listening if you have to remain absolutely spoiler-free for Mercy's sake. Ruth wouldn't mind though.

I went Christmas shopping this week and here's my new plan: Your gifts get bonus worth based on the giver's personality. I didn't buy all my gifts online and was thus forced to interact with actual human beings: bonus points. I got lost trying to find the store because the exit from the subway puts you out on a different street (why is it called the Montgomery station if the exit puts you out on the street NEXT TO Montgomery?!): bonus points. I went to a crowded shopping center and I didn't push down any of the people walking really slow in front of me: bonus points. I had to walk past a guy selling flutes: bonus points. He was playing one of said flutes: extra bonus points. He was still playing the flute when I left the shops: so many bonus points! Basically what I am trying to say is that I am the greatest gift giver in the history of mankind. Or that I completely misunderstand the spirit of Christmas. Either way, I don't like leaving the house.

Quick Review: Adventure Time (DS)- Do you love fetch quests? Not even love them, I mean is your life not complete unless you're running back and forth through the same areas over and over killing the same respawning enemies to pick up an item from one side of the map, give it to somebody on the other side of the map, and then run back to the first person all over again? Well then does Adventure Time have a game for you! If dictionaries had entries for "cynical cash-in", this would be the very definition of it. The music and random voice samples are muffled and distorted. There are typos in the first ten minutes of the game like "Woh, Jake" instead of "Whoa" and "touch thestars" missing the space between the words. The graphics are terrible. They look like they have JPEG compression in them and the portrait sprites don't line up with the bottom of the screen. It's not a great picture, but all those artifacts and blocks on PB's face and arms are actually in the game:

There weren't any clean pictures of the characters that Cartoon Network could have given them? Jake's eye isn't even colored in when walking on the map and the far edge of his sprite looks cut-off in the levels. Even basic things like the controls aren't great. Inventory management is tedious and makes you swap out the stylus to tap the tiny icons in the middle of a fight. To jump through platforms, you press down, instead of down and jump. So if you try to duck an attack, you end up falling through the platform. From the start, the game gives you no direction. It just plops you into the world and you're left to wander around, entering random places, finding villages that are represented by a bush or a grassy bump on the map, and you don't even start the game with Finn's sword. If you had told me that I accidentally got a bootleg version of the game, I would totally believe it. I only bothered to play for an hour until I got a mass of fetch quests that made me re-re-run through the area I just came from before calling it quits. And just for fun, I checked my save slot before shipping it back and it shows that I'm 31% done with the game. I finished 31% of the game in ONE hour. Unless you're a severe AT junkie that has to have every single piece of merchandise, steer clear of this game. Don't support cheap cash-ins like this. What the hell, Wayforward?