Copyright Adam Schlosser

Copyright 2005 Adam Schlosser

Posted by Pip

J71- Nine Is Just Six Upside Down

Sins, we’re educational dammit! Stay tuned for next week, when Jin delves into double digit counting! Spoiler alert... 12 is involved. Okay, driving the numbers thing into the ground.
There are big stakes in Empress’s revenge and it looks like poor little Fortune may be caught up in it too.

Quick Reviews:
Superman Doomsday- While well animated and drawn, the new animated Superman movie loses any real excitement it could have had because the issues the movie raises have already shown up in the cartoons and were done better there. The most jarring changes are the characters. I liked the designs in the TV show. Lois looked modern but still had an air of “this character has been around for a while”, Superman and Clark Kent looked like big dopey but nice guys, and Luthor looked awesome. I like the brown/tan/whatever he was look to Lex. It gives him a great style. But the movie changed their designs. Superman looks the same just older so he’s fine, Lois looks a lot younger and sluttier, and almost comes across as being Asian, and for some godly unknown reason, Lex Luthor looks sick and ready to die with more in common with Victor Freeze from the end of the Batman cartoons/when he showed up in those episodes of Batman Beyond (really good episodes!) The voice acting is lousy and there’s no reason that they shouldn’t have used the cast from the TV show. That’s the problem when you try to hire brand name “actors” rather than people that are “good”. You wind up with Anne Heche playing a role. Ugh. I do give them kudos for the homosexual undertones in Luthor and Superman’s connection. It was a nice touch and made for a good scene.
Some spoiler-full griping- Okay, a large premise of the movie is that basically Superman cannot die as long as he’s on Earth. We also know that Luthor was able to create a clone of Superman that has ALL of Superman’s powers (as stated many times). However, Morally Not Quite Right (MNQR) Superman was able to kill hundreds of the clones using nothing more than heat vision? I’ll be nice and give them a complete pass on that and say that they weren’t godly yet because they were still growing in their tubes. But we’re still left with the glaring problem that MNQR Superman A) shouldn’t have been killed by simply inhaling a bit of Kryptonite dust and B) MNQR Superman is just going to come back from the dead in a few days like the original Superman did. Then what? He’s just going to lay down his MNQR ideals and be nice?
We did get to see Supes kill a villain out of spite. That was pretty keen!

Zelda Minish Cap- Minish Cap isn’t exactly a bad game, it’s just not a fun or interesting game. You have a very plodding and uninteresting story, handholding to the point of removing any real gameplay, a ludicrous number of side-quests and item collection, and the overworld and all your time inbetween dungeons are just a string of fetch quests and time-filling “go to point A to point B to point A to Point B to point C to point A” moments. The original Zelda didn’t give you any help or tell you ANYTHING and that was horrible design, but this one goes the opposite route and jams basic information down your throat and winds up being just as bad. Except that any time when you actually could use some hints or a reminder where that one specific person or house you need to visit are so you don’t have to waste half an hour trying to find it, there’s absolutely no help or guidance to be found. The dungeons are standard fare (which means pretty good), but everything else is a mess, even the control scheme. And let’s get rid of Vaati already, please. He’s not an interesting villain. He’s just “Evil” because the game says he is. Ganon has mucked up time and space, spread fear and evil through the land, corrupted the realm of the gods, and generally just been a dick. What has Vaati done that gets him praised as being the ultimate evil across the land? He turned a guy into a hat. Screw you, Vaati.