Copyright Adam Schlosser

Copyright 2005 Adam Schlosser

Posted by Pip

TB5- Spirit Realm Roommates From Hell

Tough break. It probably takes a lot of work to figure out a schedule. Who pays the bills and runs errands? Who gets to eat? Do you hang a sock off your shoulder if you donít want to be disturbed? Truly the big questions few have the guts to answer.
And of course you canít wander through a giant creepy void without being stalked by a creature that will in all likelihood shame you horribly before it eats you. Have fun, Todd!

Quick Reviews:
Phoenix Wright Trials and Tribulations- I love the characters in Phoenix Wright. I love the stories. I love the ideas. I love the writing. I love the insane pop culture references they manage to get away with. Iím however sad to say that they feature the absolute worst gameplay imaginable. No other game have I played, outside of this style, punishes you for doing the correct thing. Present the correct solution to a puzzle but do it one sentence too early or too late even though the testimony has been given in its entirety before, you fail. Think of a completely logical, reasonable, and plausible answer, you fail. Unless you know every single exact action to take, youíre going to run into events like this over and over and over. But if you know exactly what the computer expects/forces you to do, why bother playing at all? If there is one and only one exact answer, despite there being a plethora of correct answers, it isnít a game. Providing somebody with the illusion of choice and then punishing them for not making ďyourĒ choice isnít right/fair/good gameplay. Youíre punishing somebody for playing your game. As much as I love what the series has to offer, I canít in good conscience recommend or support it because itís presenting itself as one thing and then punishing you for playing along. Iíll gladly get the books when theyíre released later this year, but the games are a lost cause at this point.

Resident Evil Extinction- Two separate but connected reviews for this one. As a normal filmgoer, this movie is pretty much downright irredeemable. Horrible writing, clichť and poorly done characters, painful dialogue, a lousy story, and you canít even say itís worth watching for the special effects because itís full of lousy wire stunts and boring effects and designs. As a fan of Resident Evil, this movie is pretty much an abomination. Outside of taking names from the series, this really has absolutely nothing to do with Resident Evil. Characters that are supposedly taken from the game have absolutely nothing to do with their counterparts. Sure thereís a woman named Claire Redfield in the movie; does she have anything in common with the game character? Not at all! Is Wesker the scheming evil bastard that makes him a fantastic villain for the series? Haha, sucker! Heís a boring, by the numbers commander for the very company heís working to bring down in the games. Itís bad enough to ruin the characters, but the makers pretty much spit on all the backstory and creations from the game and write their own fan fiction characters and elements to trump the real stuff. As cheesy as the science may have been, Resident Evilís backing has always been in that science. Theyíre ďzombiesĒ because of a virus that has its origins and functions explained in the games. The mutants and monsters are all explained progressions and variants of the virus. Even Las Plagas, what essentially amounts to an alien parasite out of a 50s movie, cobbled together a semi-plausible scientific backing. For the movie, what do we get? Alice knows magic. Yep, magic. And sheís not afraid to use her fan fiction powers to use this magic to bring down a great series.