Copyright Adam Schlosser

Copyright 2005 Adam Schlosser

Posted by Pip

ST2- Starting Off On The Wrong Boot

Itís only page two and our host has already kicked the butts of three Sins. Making them grow up pays off quickly! Granted they are the three easiest Sins to take down though. Sloth wonít dodge, Envy is easily puntable, and Greed has a glass jaw... Itís the thought that counts!

Quick Review- Incredible Hulk (game)- Itís like Marvel looked at the awful Spider-Man 3 game and said, ďLetís take all the bad stuff and make it really tedious on top of that!Ē. The camera is bad, the voice acting is horrible, all of the humans fall smack dab in the Uncanny Valley (digitized Ed Norton scares me), the story is boring, itís incredibly glitchy, the extra items and unlockables are scattered through a lifeless city and are damned near impossible to purposefully find, I want Hulk to tear Rick Jones limb from limb, and pretty much every single mission is the same thing. Get to point X, destroy Y, but you have to protect A or do in under time B. Almost every time you destroy an enemy, another one immediately pops up to take its place, so combat not only becomes boring but also pointless. You quickly learn to just ignore everything that isnít a mission objective. Every miniboss you beat, every building you knock down, every single thing you do, just respawns in a matter of time. The most exciting parts of the game are that thereís a Sonic the Hedgehog billboard in Times Square and that there are a bunch of Marvel landmarks in the city. The Baxter Building is in there and you can level it. Take that, Mr. Fantastic. I donít know how long the game is because I couldnít finish it. Not because itís hard or takes any modicum of strategy, but because it froze up. I was in the middle of a mission where I have to protect a building for six minutes and with two minutes left on the clock, the game locked up. Sure, I could have rebooted, but honestly, the game just wasnít worth replaying those four minutes over again.
There is an online component but the servers are all but a ghost town. I found a single match and my opponent quit less than five seconds into the round.