Copyright Adam Schlosser

Copyright 2005 Adam Schlosser

Posted by Pip

D3- Fortune Did It

Somebody pissed off Cthulhu and now Itís taking it out on the Sins. You donít poke the nasty tentacled monsters with obscenely hard to pronounce names. Theyíre worse than bears.
Poor Greed. Hit through a tree. What kind of way is that to treat a lovable fuzzy guy during the holidays?

And a Happy Christmas to our British Slapeggs and a fine Christmas Eve to our Slapeggs on the western front of the International Date Line!

Quick Review: Crash Commando- Take Rocket Knight Adventures, the cartoony violence of Team Fortress, and the slaughter of Quake and youíll have the mish-mash that is Crash Commando. All of the elements come together fairly well but some questionable design decisions hold it back from really being great. The UI is poorly laid out, the experience points seem completely pointless, even when playing single player against bots you still have to sit through a 30-second warm-up round and then wait another ten seconds to spawn, and there are some oddly long load times even in offline matches, but the gameplay itself is a lot of fun. Youíll probably play Single Player just to get the trophies and then never touch it again because every one of the missions is FFA Deathmatch only. You never fight on a team, play the CTF mode, play the objectives; you just fight a varying number of enemies and try to get a certain number of points. But where a game like TF2 was made far worse by not having a single player mode, CC makes the effort and you can at least learn the controls and layout of the maps and get a feel for what Mulitplayer has to offer. Itís nowhere near as well-done as Worms Armageddon was in its mixing of single and multiplayer modes, but itís a start. Sadly despite its mixing of genres, CC still suffers everything that makes online FPSs unfun. The weapons are unbalanced and one good player can absolutely dominate a team of four (granted it is fun when youíre THAT guy getting ten times as many kills as anybody else), there are a lot of chokepoints in levels, the user base varies from great teammates to absolute morons, and again the weird design decisions show up. The weapons are a drag in the hands of the wrong people. The tank is ludicrously overpowered and gets annoying FAST. The rocket launcher, shotgun, and grenade launcher are all one-hit kills but they can be dodged if youíre fast enough. The sniper rifle, however, is a one-hit kill and it canít be dodged. Combine that with the numerous choke points in levels and you can lose a round against one guy with a rifle protecting the last objective. The heat ray is incredibly weak, has almost no ammo, and has few benefits over the machine gun, so youíre left with four one-shot kill weapons and two balanced ones. It needs a lot of tweaking but for some quick pick up and play, you could do a lot worse.
Sins Committed: Unbalanced weapons, Bad level design, Bad user interface, No player matching