Copyright Adam Schlosser

Copyright 2005 Adam Schlosser

Posted by Pip

D6- Boosh And Or Kakow

Lust goes from Knower of Stuff to... Thinker of Stuff! A step down in some regards but it does prevent you from getting beaned by the flying rocks. A little bonus for you mean, mean Envy haters out there.

It’s the end of the year so Happy Birthday to friend of Sins, Jay, and we’ll have some exciting end of year numbers and a new wallpaper in January. Woo. Cheer on 09 to kick 08’s useless butt.

Long, Angry goat-filled Review: Eternal Sonata- The scenery is gorgeous but the characters are hideous dolls like you’d get if you asked Square to design Hummel figurines. Pasty huge-eyed freaks with lots of buckles and foofy dress parts and poor kids that spent what little money they had on winged epaulets. The “big numbers are awesome” rule is out in full force which is a design choice that always gets on my nerves. The very first enemy you meet has 700 HP and instead of attacking once or twice a round you can get in 12 or even 20 attacks, so regular battles take long enough but boss fights seem to go on forever. This also leads to an intensely cheap and artificial difficulty. The game isn’t hard because it requires thought or strategy; enemies just do insane amounts of damage. You might have a split second to guard against attacks and if you don’t guard, a single round of attacks can kill you, but even if you do guard, the enemies are doing hundreds of points of damage to you. Also, every time you change screens, the enemies respawn, so the Angel Goats that just beat the crap out of you are back if you move one screen. Seriously, there are magic goat enemies that are harder than the first few bosses you meet. In the same area are these giant dragons; they’re a piece of cake. The goats though? They will wreck you. Once you get passed the first chapter, you stop regularly finding healing items, shops are few and far between, healing items are expensive, and while you have healing moves you can use in battle, you can heal at most 300 a round and a single attack can do 700 damage to you, so you’re fighting a losing battle. Maybe it was just because I didn’t have the instruction booklet or I couldn’t sit through the mind numbingly awful and tedious tutorials, but I couldn’t find out how to get the characters to heal a specific person. Instead of healing the best person on the team who was near death, the characters would heal the stupid little kid that’s weak as all heck and had only been hit once or twice. I found myself skipping over the story segments because of how grating the characters were (anything with Beat is an instant skip but I usually made it through Freddie and the girls’ story bits), so boo for the lousy writing and annoying characters but thank you Hummel Jesus for the ability to skip cinemas. The game’s music is fantastic, but the story, characters, and complete lack of fun make the game more of a slight to Chopin than homage.
From what I’ve read online, the game went through some major tweaks being ported to the PS3 and it sounds like the difficulty on the 360 is more reasonable or the very least not cheap as heck. On the other hand, the PS3 version has more content, quests, and characters. Considering I couldn’t stomach the game enough to even get halfway through it, I’d suggest skipping both versions.
Sins Committed: Bad story, Bad writing, Bad camera, Cheap difficulty, Slow moving