Copyright Adam Schlosser
Contact:
aschloss@gmail.com


Copyright 2005 Adam Schlosser


Posted by Pip

MF20- Two Vowels Worse Than Icky

Take THAT, Flintstones Chewable Vitamins! Growing strong and evil like the Sins is a far more compelling reason to have chalky vitamins than to be one of ten million strong and growing.
Our short cakes are more worldly than they appear! And their moms are escorts. They do have a fairly cheery outlook on it though. It seems to affect Lust more than anybody and raises the immortal question: ARE the Sins nekkid? I mean, Greed is fairly non-sexed and in his full form, heís covered with fur, so heís more Bugs Bunny naked. Lust and Fortune though, they may require a few strategically placed black bars.


Quick Review: Transformers 2- Standard warning upfront: I didnít pay for my ticket and worked with a company close to the project.
As much as I didnít like T1, T2 is considerably worse. There are maybe three good fight scenes but for most of it, they again chose to focus on the completely uninteresting drama of the totally unlikable human. The special effects are great and all, but itís amazing just how poorly conceived and written the whole thing is. Jokes about poop, farting, urine, dogs humping other dogs, robots humping humans, two robots we debated whether to consider racist, and an inability to go more than a few minutes without shoving the camera down somebodyís cleavage or hovering around her butt (with a few up-skirt shots thrown in as well) go with the fact that the movie is a few centimeters of clothing away from porn at moments. Then you have the fact that there is constant swearing from the humans AND the Transformers as well. The soldiers though, oddly donít curse that much, so go figure. How on Earth did this get a PG-13 rating? Constant sexuality, cursing, extreme violence, and drug use, but itís PG-13.
The movie is just awful but a few things just bugged me above and beyond. Why are the Transformers so human looking? If they used the designs from the show, Iíd completely overlook it, but given their drastic redesigns, it just seems stupid. Itís horribly inefficient to build a giant robot with a nose, teeth, or even a mouth. Why do they have five fingers, arms that only bend at a single elbow, clearly defined legs, etc etc. Itís not like thereís a remote chance of ever blending in, ignoring the fact that they meet each other in full view of the public in robot form. And how did the Decepticons build the Terminator rip-off? And if they can build them, why not build more? Why did the Tranformersí military squad even have humans in it? Every foot soldier in the movie is utterly useless. The guys in jets and tanks, they held their own, but the only thing you see foot soldiers do in the movie is die. I wouldnít send a foot soldier up against a tank, much less a giant, alien sentient tank that can also do melee attacks and fly. If youíre in the Transformers squad and all they give you is a machine gun, your commander hates you.