Copyright Adam Schlosser
Contact:
aschloss@gmail.com


Copyright 2005 Adam Schlosser


Posted by Pip

MF36- Put A Shirt On

Maybe if you werenít walking around half-nekkid there wouldnít be kids clamoring over you, Sharing. Lust is a bad influence on the whole lot of them! Except Content. Sheís as pure and good as the driven snow. Keep on the morality train, Grassie, keep on.

Itís a brand new month and our stats gave us some damn fine search strings leading to the site.
disavow of my humanity - Excellent! The plan is workingÖ
aerisdies - Itís not a spoiler if the words run together!
what is a pungee sticks - Somebody with bad grammar is building weaponry. Run!
magical girl money - It starts off as a regular quarter but after five minutes of transformation sequences, it becomes a state quarter!
the wily eyebrow thing - Whoever you are that searched for thisÖ Thatís awesome.

And the Sins end the summer months with a blockbuster wallpaper. Donate or contribute to the site to bask in its popcorny goodness.

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DDG has also updated! The beginning of the month just keeps on giving.


Long, The best part about this game is the credits Review: Fat Princess- Whether or not Fat Princess is any good is almost irrelevant simply because the game doesnít work. Single player is throwaway fluff (I beat it in about an hour) and is nothing more than multiplayer mode with bots (stupid, stupid bots that are so mindless and pathetic that they will just stand there and rely on you to do an entire teamís duty), so what youíre left with is pretty much a multiplayer-only game. But you can hardly ever actually play it because itís nigh impossible to connect to a match. It takes five or more searches to find a match and these arenít just quick searches. The game takes a minute or two to try to connect, so you can easily find yourself spending ten minutes or more listening to the same short music loop over and over and have nothing to show for it. Even when you can connect, you have to deal with lag, dropped matches, and an almost complete inability to migrate the game if the host drops out. You put all this work into just trying to play the game and your reward is that it just isnít fun. The maps are poorly designed, the classes are unbalanced, and matches can last upwards of half an hour in a complete stalement. You respawn five seconds after dying (which Iím keen on) but when you respawn, youíre placed right next to your teamís flag. So if you manage to make it to the enemyís base and capture the flag (or Princess as the case may be), every single person on that team that dies is going to respawn next to you with momentary invincibility. They slaughter everyone inside the castle, return the princess to the prison, and the whole thing starts over again. Unless youíre up against a team consisting of mostly absolute morons or youíre on a team where the vast majority have headsets and can move as a strike force, youíre going to hear ďWeíve captured the princess! The princess has been returned!Ē on a constant loop. Granted the narrator is the awesome Tom Kane, but it gets old. A ludicrously simple way of fixing this would have been to restrict the enemyís ability to drag the princess back for a certain amount of time after sheís been dropped or simply moving the respawn points away from the princess. Itís far easier to return a princess to prison thanks to your endless supply of respawning teammates than it is to rescue her, so the game is practically designed to be a giant stalemate. Even if you ignore the capture the flag mode (despite it being what the game was designed for), the deathmatch modes are really just a measure of how big of a mob you can move in. I like playing as the medic but the gameís targeting is so bad that you canít save people if youíre in a group of more than three or four. The game allows you to target teammates that are at full health and will more often than not make that healthy character the one youíre targeting while thereís somebody that actually needs energy just two steps to your left that you canít help because you canít target him. To heal somebody you need to press L1 and Square, move yourself with the left stick, and to change targets you need to flick the right stick. By the time you fight with the game enough to target the person you want, either youíre dead, heís dead, or heís moved out of your targetable range. The game may be cute, cartoony, and dripping with style but thanks to the lousy gameplay and design and sorry state of multiplayer, itís garbage no matter how you slice the cake.
Sins Committed: Bad level design, Bad controls, Lag, Dropped matches, Inability to connect to multiplayer matches, Buggy, Unbalanced classes, Singleplayer is too short



Posted by Pip

Those HTML tags are out to get me