Copyright Adam Schlosser

Copyright 2005 Adam Schlosser

Posted by Pip

MT4- Like Play Checkers

I think the fact that Pride didn't deck Lust for being a meanie last arc has taught her that a hug or kiss can get her out of screwing over her friends. Now to pin a bank robbery on Anger, scratch his head, and see if that theory stands!
Less correct wild speculation on Greed's possession. He fooled most of you by stepping up his game. Everybody knows you have to enunciate and take your time when possessing temptresses. I'm sure that rule is written down somewhere.
I love the name “Tobin”. If I ever get a pet, I'm probably going to name it “Tobin”. It has a great ring to it and you can shorten it to “Toby” when shouting at a dog to come inside so you don't have to stand in the rain in a bathrobe or when said dog is mauling a paperboy. “Tobin” all the way!

Long, They actually shout “Freunlaven!” Review: Wolfenstein (PS3)- Wolfenstein is one of the few FPS series I actually enjoy playing. It in no way takes itself seriously and the games always get progressively more ridiculous as they go along and I appreciate that. Your base powers are a little played out at this point but screwing around with time and bouncing back bullets are still fun, but they really shine when you upgrade them. Being able to crush people by simply walking into them does give a rather high and mighty feeling. The upgrades are oddly hard to come by for your main powers though. Unless you're a superstar with finding hidden objects, you're going to be severely hurting in the endgame. I only found 4 of the, I think, 18 upgrades so the end of the game involved a lot of running back and forth to recharge stations because my powers ran out twice as quickly. The game has great audio from the gurgle of guys you shoot in the neck to that extremely happy crescendo when you collect a hidden item. The only big design decision that drags the game down is the hub world. Instead of moving level to level, you return to a hub and have to talk to people to get missions and then find the entrance to the level. I wouldn't have minded it so much if you had the option to warp to the market or your headquarters. There are cars all over the place and you frequently use them to move from the hub to the level, so why can't you hop a ride back to the hideout? Hell, your character has the ability to warp time and space, can't he just pop back to the market? Another way to improve it would be just making sure the Nazis didn't respawn every time you left a screen. As the game progresses, the enemies in the hub get stronger and stronger, making walking from a mission to the market a slog where you can easily be killed if you don't take it slowly and kill every enemy (for about the 30th time by this point). Okay, maybe the other bad point is the Elite Guard. They don't quite have that evil hotness going on this time and you only fight like five of them across the game. There's actually slack in their outfits! That's practically blasphemy in this series. Some of the enemy placement is really cheap in some levels and the game gets fond of just throwing scads of troops at you towards the end, but the checkpoint system is generous in most places. So while it's a hassle at times, you can just keep plugging away until you find the specific path that doesn't lead to a rocket to the face or having the magic inviso-Nazi stab you in the back. Even ignoring the boring hub sections, it does still have a fairly lengthy single player campaign, so if you don't play many FPSs, it's worth trying out.
Multiplayer is still surprisingly active. I absolutely adored multiplayer in Return To Castle Wolfenstein and it's one of like three games I've played on a LAN. The new objective modes are fun but it's mostly the same old same old. There are no co-op missions, only one team vs another, and the usual deathmatch options. The upgrades give you an unfair advantage against newcomers because you can soak up a lot more damage than they can and without the upgrades, ammo is severely limited. You never really find items or ammo refills in the stage, so if you don't have the extra clips and nobody else on the opposing team is using the same weapon you are, you're going to get stuck with the pistol pretty quickly. The matches take a rather long time to load into but you can fairly easily join matches in progress, so that eases some of the waiting pains.
Sins Committed: Lots of loading, Repetitive, Cheap enemy placement
Virtues Acted: Good length, Good audio, Good weapons, Frying magic Nazis with a Tesla death ray