Copyright Adam Schlosser

Copyright 2005 Adam Schlosser

Posted by Pip

MT17- The Direct Approach

They pass the Gluttony grading test. Humans are fit for consumption, demons and Forces are not. I mean, have you tried cooking with Tarot? Not even good hot sauce and sour cream can fix that taste.
Envy at least takes the direct approach, also known as “a lack of tact”. No hiding behind bushes or hushed murmurings about weirdness. Let's get to the bottom of this! Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and tell people they're freaks. It helps if you have a regenerating head if you choose to go that route.

Long yeah you're totally prepared for time travel because I said so Review: Chronos Twins- CT is cheesy but so cheesy it makes the story and dialogue kind of fun. There's a line that boils down to "the only reasonable explanation is a rip in space and time". When a game immediately decides that time travel is “the only reasonable explanation”, you kind of get your hopes up for a good time. The art changes drastically. The game's icon is a complete DBZ-rip off and the occasional story panel screams Dragonball but there are a few well-drawn character portraits and nice looking sprites, but then there are just some absolutely horrible looking images (like the lady's dialogue portrait that bears no resemblance to the actual character and looks like it was knocked out in five minutes). Unfortunately, gameplay quickly stops being fun. The vast majority of the frustration could have been removed with one simple fix: make the characters fire at the same time on both screens. As it stands now, you press X to fire on the top screen, B for the bottom, and R to jump. That's just extraordinarily awkward. And the game is no cake walk either. It would be hard even with decent controls. If I HAD to split the attack controls, the least they could have done was let me customize it. I'd much rather have A and B or Y and B as the two attacks than X and B. When a game only has four buttons, it's just shear laziness to not have a control customization option. Once you get playing, it's just one bad design decision after another. Your character doesn't even move when standing on a moving platform. Why does everything take so long to die? There are enemies you can hit but that don't take damage. Your shots just pass through them with no explanation as to why. But if you get hit once, you're pretty much screwed because you'll keep getting hurt by whatever touched you. Say you're making a jump and hit something in the air, instead of giving you some invincibility time to pass through or letting you do the jump over again, your character will be stuck in the air unable to complete the jump or move backwards and will keep taking damage until it dies. You only get three lives and then you have to do the stage all over again. So in a game that controls poorly, is centered almost entirely around cheap enemy placement, and is basically one hit and you're dead, you only get three shots at beating a stage. Chronos Twins is a game with an interesting and unique concept but gameplay made unplayable by an awful control scheme and some of the worst level design I've ever seen. It's the kind of game that isn't just so bad that you hate the game, but it makes you hate the developers and publisher too. If you take a look at the other dreck the companies have produced, it would be a mercy killing to get rid of them.