Copyright Adam Schlosser

Copyright 2005 Adam Schlosser

Posted by Pip

DF19- Goo Of Action

Ye Oldey Sloth was all kinds of handy! Being big. Taking up space. Getting in the way of things. All valuable skills you can put to use to help protect your teammates! I mean, Sloth was able to stop an attack from Labor. How many other Sins can say that? This may in fact be a stealth reveal that Sloth is the most powerful being in the Universe... Bow to your gooey overlord!

Long, Delirious with arousal Review: Monsters (Probably) Stole My Princess!- Your reason to buy this game is the Duke. The Duke is so awesome that "Duke" needs to become an adjective. Like "he's so Duke" or "I'm not nearly Duke enough to hit on her". EVERYthing about the writing is funny. The dialogue, the loading screens, the tutorials, hell, even just the level names are great. The music is made of funky/technoy remixes of every stereotypical classical music piece you'd find in a horror movie. The game just oozes style and is a joy to play because of it. Uuuunfortunately, the game is ten minutes long. That is not hyperbole. I started the story mode and ten minutes later, I was done with the story mode. There's a score attack mode that remixes the levels and if you get a gold medal on all the story levels, you unlock an extra level, so that bumps the play time up a bit, but to get gold on every story level, get at least a bronze on every score attack level, and get all but three of the in-game awards only took me an hour total. The remaining trophies are all related to getting golds on all the score attack levels, but they don't actually unlock anything and I'm not one for score attack modes, so I can pass on those. Granted, it's an awesome hour of playing the game, but it's still insanely short and there aren't any extra modes. An endless mode, a how many times can you whack the boss in a time limit mode, a horizontal mode, or a platformer action game mode would have been pretty easy to implement and would go a little further in getting you your $5's worth. The stages can get hectic but it can be too hard to see your character after you hit the boss because your sprite goes behind the boss's. The vast majority of the times you'll lose your combos come after hitting the boss either because you can't see or you bounced off it oddly, and losing your combo means hurting your score, so one bad hit can mean restarting a stage all over again. The controls crap out from time to time where you can't double jump or you'll slide off a platform, which is pretty pathetic because the game only uses a single button so that seems like it should have been a rather big priority to get right. Even with those flaws and the ludicrously short length, the humor, characters, and art still make it worthwhile. Just as long as the Duke appears again in another game. He'd be a perfect fit to star in this generation's version of Kid Icarus. If I could get Kid Icarus gameplay with this art style and the Duke, I'd be thrilled.
Sins Committed: Short, Bad controls (occasionally)
Virtues Acted: Good writing, Good art, Good characters, Easy to pick up and play, Oh crap it's the Duke