Copyright Adam Schlosser
Contact:
aschloss@gmail.com


Copyright 2005 Adam Schlosser


Posted by Pip

AD53- They Are Real And Sinsational

Tough break on this one. Finding out your pet straddles the line of imaginary and defying the laws of physics? That's pretty awesome. Finding out your dad keeps dying all the time? One heck of a bummer. Then finding out your dead dad shows up from time to time while your mom scoffs at the mighty Reaper? That's when you go inside, get a plate of cookies, and watch cartoons until you forget all about it. That's also how I handle the stresses of every day life so I guess that doesn't say much about me...
I think Greed is one part enamored and one part vastly befuddled by the female body. We all are, buddy, we all are. I mean, nail polish? What's up with that?

The TWC voting incentive has been updated for the week as well! Since Halloween is coming up, it's a costume one and what better time of the year to pick a horror costume? Click on the handy button above to vote (daily)!


Long, About as far from “punk” as you can get Review: No More Heroes 2- The humor and shock value that were in the first have worn off because NMH2 really just copies the formula, doesn't go anywhere with it, and then makes it worse. While the Monty Python-esq blood spurts were worth a giggle the first time, it's just more of the same now. Travis lopped off a guy's head and it's pinwheeling around squirting blood, oh now he's a tiger, and look at how wacky that boss is. It's definitely a game that thinks it's funnier and more hip than it really is. Cursing is edgey! Breasts jiggle! Gay people are gay! Swords are like penises! None of it is funny the first time and after several hours of this, it grates on you and just makes you angry. The mini games are back and once the novelty of them being 8-bit wears off, they're almost universally terrible. You even have to play crappy mini-games to improve your health and strength, but to due to some terribly unresponsive controls and godawful design, I couldn't complete the ones passed the halfway point. You can play as some secondary characters now but thanks to some shoehorned in platforming sections, you'll dread them rather than look forward to the change. Everything about the game is also just... ugly. Ignoring the angry-making writing and repeated jokes, the style, the colors, the characters, and the world are just off-putting. It has nothing to do with it being a Wii game or the low-def graphics, there's just nothing appealing about seeing or watching it. It looks like a Saturn game with terrible colors and lighting. The whole game is joyless. You run through a level full of brainless enemies that don't put up a fight but will just stand there and block all your attacks, then you fight a waaaacky boss, then you sit through terrible dialogue spoken by unlikable characters, then you grind money in godawful minigames, and then repeat this until the game is over. One improvement is that moving around the map no longer requires you to drive around on the horrible motorcycle. You just select your destination from a menu and after some odd loading you're there (it loads your selection to show a picture, and then it goes into loading again to actually move you to where you selected). I got up to the fourth rank and then quit. On a level that seemed like it took hours to beat the waves and waves of enemies, one of them walked through a wall so I wasn't able to kill him and open the door to the area he walked into. I could see him on my radar and his sword would occasionally clip back through the wall but the game wouldn't register hits against him and it doesn't have a "restart from checkpoint" option, so my only option would have been to reset and do that level all over again. If you know your game is buggy, and there's really no way you couldn't know that unless you played it for less than ten minutes, at least have an option to restart from a checkpoint so this crap doesn't happen. I've played loads of terrible games but few games that I've played are as utterly joyless and anti-fun, amusement, or reward and as without redeeming features as No More Heroes 2.

Sins Committed: Just... just, gah I don't even want to talk about it any more.
Virtues Acted: The theme song is pretty okay