Copyright Adam Schlosser
Contact:
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Copyright 2005 Adam Schlosser


Posted by Pip

TG5- Same Justification I Go By

Woo, it's the team-up of the century! Virtue and Balance, joined together, crossing the land kicking butt! Really getting on Chastity's nerve. Slowly driving her mad as they blaze a trail coast to coast until she jumps in the sea to get away from it all. Ah, road trips. Balance's old timey optimism would just grate on you after awhile, really. Content is at least beaten down enough to not be all up your face with happiness.


Long, Superbook, dammit! Review: Tatsunoko vs Capcom- This game does a very poor job of explaining itself in even just the options text and the instruction booklet is a mess. Why are fighting games so awful at labeling things properly? Labeling a button "L+M+H+P" means next to nothing but labeling it "Guard Crush" would have been really handy. And by the by, the guard crush is a super cheap move where you can instantly stop an enemy's combo. So basically there's a button for punishing you for fighting. In a fighting game. The menus and text screens are incredibly slow and could easily have been combined to speed things up. For every round, you have to go through your character's win quote, the score tally for the stage, a screen showing who you'll fight next, then the VS screen, your team's intro, and then your opponent's intro. Every single round. The payoff for your patience isn't so hot either. You fight the same characters in Arcade mode over and over and they didn't bother to record English voices for the characters. Horrible, horrible final boss. It's so big that the screen has to zoom out to fit it and even then it takes up half the screen, it takes no stun damage from regular or super moves, its range is huge and it can easily knock you out of supers since it takes no stun, its supers are unblockable, and you have to fight it across three phases (and full healthbars) but if you lose to any of the phases, you have to start all over from the beginning again even though each phase is a separate round. The endings are text over static images but the text only displays one or two lines at a time and they're written in the godawful style normally reserved for JRPGs where rather than saying something in one sentence, it's drawn out into multiple paragraphs. At one point, the game gives you over five seconds to read the phrase .... This is some sub-RPG writing and design. Some endings don't even make sense and not even in the zany nonsensical way MvC1 endings were. Ryu's just pissed me off. I'm not a fan of Shinkiro's art but most of the Udon stuff is great. The in-game models are pretty good for the most part and they're bright and cartoony so they're fun to watch. The backgrounds are pretty hit or miss where some (like Morrigan's castle) are moody and interesting visually while others are just drab and boring (like the burning area). Compared to the Capcom team, the Tatsu characters are devoid of any personality. 3/4 of their side is nothing but variants on the Gatchaman generic superhero look. And Capcom has Viewtiful Joe, who is a parody of those very characters and has way more personality than any of them. I looked up the company on Wikipedia and their lineup could have been SOOO much better! The company worked on Speed Racer, Samurai Pizza Cats, Littl' Bits, Evangelion, The Flying House, and Superbook. Superbook, people! This game could have had Superbook representation and didn't! The super moves are fantastically animated and often very funny to watch. Frank West is especially hilarious. Plus he actually has an English VA so you can understand what he's yammering about. His in-game model is terrible though and looks almost nothing like him outside of the outfit. Overall, it's more playable for non-freakishly devoted fighting game fans than something like SF4, but without interesting fights or a good payoff, it's not really worth the learning curve for newcomers.
Sins Committed: Repetitive battles, Bad menus, Bad endings, Bad Instructions, No tutorials
Virtues Acted: Good animation, Good art, Roll seriously messing up a robot the size of a building and being cute while doing so