Copyright Adam Schlosser

Copyright 2005 Adam Schlosser

Posted by Pip

TG20- I Am Crushing Your Ummm Upper Body

Balance meant well! She thought they couldn't hurt each other! And let's be honest here, the first thing you'd do if you found out a friend couldn't be hurt would be to wallop him/her really really hard. At least baseball bat hard, maybe running over with a car hard. Really, Balance was just being nice.
Death does not tolerate sass mouth! It knows that once you let a few remarks slip by, then they start piling up, and before you know it, people are shouting arcane poker insults at you. Best to nip those problems in the bud. Or crushing them in the head. A significant number of Tarot head injuries this time around...

We have a new piece of fan art in the gallery. Holiday fan art at that. Thanks, Ches!

You can visit his gallery at:

Long, Is this a meme yet? Review: Rabbids Go Home (Wii) Finally, a Rabbids game without all the minigames! And, uh, does anybody actually care about Rayman any more? He's kind of been left way way behind for a series based on his game... Go Home starts off as very bizarre and random in a funny way rather than the typical Internet "being random for the sake of being random" way. The music is oldies hits while everything in the game is modern but it just kind of works. It winds up having a surprisingly good soundtrack once the classic rock kicks in and I really wasn't expecting that. If you stop and listen to the announcements that play over loudspeakers or radios, the humans are in a pretty bleak totalitarian regime and the messages can be oddly dark at times when compared to the graphics and, well, the fact that you're controlling alien rabbits in a shopping cart. The 2D art is great and full of personality so I don't get why the Rabbids look so different in 3D. The humans are similar to the drawn art but they all have the same body and it just swaps heads and clothing out. There's a lot of loading that goes on for a noticeable length and it's always the same movie that plays each time. It gets old very quickly. If you quit and reload, it takes three full loading screens to get back to your level in addition to the unskippable splash screens up front. It almost obviously doesn't have any plot or character development so all you're left with is gameplay, but unfortunately there isn't much depth. A few levels have a new mechanic or enemy or gimmick but it's still all ultimately the same thing in every level and it even starts recycling items in the second area of the game. Each level has 400 objects to pick up but every time you play a stage, all the objects respawn. So if you found 399 of the 400 and go back to find that one item you missed, everything is in its original place and you have to collect all 400 in one go. To unlock the final area, you seemingly have to collect every single object from every level so I gave up pretty quickly. You need 300 objects to get all the prizes from the level so I grabbed those and then just went for the exit. It's fun to play but after 15-20 minutes, it's kind of boring. If they removed the pointless overworlds, shortened the stages, and made the controls more responsive, it would have made a great $5 downloadable title, but as a full priced retail game, it's easy to see why it's in the bargain bin now. And on a side note, if you really think about it, this game has a level of murder and death not seen since Katamari Damacy. What do you think happens to all those dogs, cows, squids, and even babies that you collect/kidnap/steal? At best they'll suffocate to death when thrown in the junk pile and at worst, their bones and organs will be crushed when you throw on the next batch of garbage and guys in oxygen tents slowly dying. And how about the airport levels? If they're lucky, the plane you steal the engine from in mid-air won't crash and kill everybody on board but all those people you suck into the engine as you blast through the airport? Yeah, they're either burned to death from the flames or chopped to bits by the turbine. And this game is rated E!
Sins Committed: Shallow gameplay, Repetitive missions, Bad controls, Uneven difficulty, Bizarre product placement
Virtues Acted: Funny, Cute characters, Good music, Utterly ruining the life of a dying man in an oxygen tent and feeling pretty good about doing that