Copyright Adam Schlosser

Copyright 2005 Adam Schlosser

Posted by Pip

TG23- Where Everybody knows Your Name And Shouts It

TG23- Where Everybody knows Your Name And Shouts It

Nothing builds/helps a friendship like dark, dark secrets. If you can't help to enslave and dominate your friends, well then they probably didn't love you to begin with. At least Balance has good intentions going for her and, heck, it's partly the Sins's fault for making her so flighty in the first place!
Nobody else gets drunk like humans do. They have that down to a science. Happy hour, nuts and pretzels, tapas, bar maids... Humans have it going on.

In-between work and the comic, I've been trying my hand at working with Sculpey so gaze in awe! And be kind because they're not great. I did Greed first, learned a bit from that, did Envy, and have learned some more so they can only get better! The bases though, those are pretty kick butt, eh? We can thank my dad for making those. They're beautiful and he made me a bunch so I feel obligated to keep going.

Long, They get some points for the name Review: Pirates PlundARRR- The game has a lot of common sense design problems. You can't see an item's stats until you buy it and equip it. Most of the weapons have the same stats so there's no real reason to switch once you find one you like. Characters don't share items, treasure, or experience despite just being reskins of each other. The game doesn't tell you when you've beaten a level. You automatically advance in levels (some of the time) so if you want to jump back to the map to buy an item or customize your character, it's a crap shot as to whether you've beaten a level. You may have gone through three distinct and named areas and beaten them all but then it turns out the level had four and you have to do them all over again. Why not just make each named area a different level or let you jump back to where you left off? Some "levels" even have multiple boss fights so you can't even safely jump out after beating one. It's buggy too. Against one of the bosses, which is a giant tree that's rooted to the ground, if you pick up one of the dozen boxes in the arena and throw it at him, he gets pushed backwards, which advances the screen and lets you complete the level without killing the boss. How was that missed during testing? There is a box RIGHT NEXT to the boss. Did nobody ever pick it up and throw it? There's a lot of slow down but it seems to be due to poor programming rather than taxing the system. There are never really a ton of enemies on screen at once and the art is a very simple Flash-looking style so there's isn't anything that would require a lot of power. It suffers from a bad case of cheap enemies over anything that requires thought. They don't get stunned when you hit them unless you're using specific weapons so they mob up and there's no way to fight them without taking lots of damage. The distance fighters are especially terrible. They fire rapidly, do lots of damage, run away from you, and spawn in groups of 4 or 8 so unless you drop everything and focus on them, you're dead. A large group of regular grunts with guns is more dangerous than the bosses. This means that the only useful attack you have in the game is your double jump. When you double jump, you spin around and hurt any enemy you touch and since you're not on the ground, bullets will miss you. You could and should play the entire game without touching the attack button. There are some mounts you can ride, but they're weaker than your character and can't jump so they're useless. Two enemies can just knock you back and forth until you die so there's no point ever riding one. The weapons aren't balanced either. There's a fire sword you can buy in the game's first shop for a relatively low price that's stronger than weapons you get in later shops, items you find with higher damage ratings (so apparently they're useless), and even weapons you get from defeating bosses. So yeah, the best weapon in the game is at the start. There are no required motion controls but they didn't include GC or classic controller support. The (mostly useless) block button is B, throw is A, and to swap weapons you press +. Unless you do nothing but stick to one weapon and ignore damage, you're constantly reaching and pressing buttons in awkward places. PlunARRR doesn't really have a story or character development but what's there doesn't really make sense. The game begins with the bad guy stealing a staff of unfathomable power that can destroy the world as we know it... and then he spends the entire game running away from you. That's it for the story. The bad guy with the power to crush you like a bug cowers from you and you run after him from area to area. I certainly don't begrudge a small studio for putting together a simple game and selling it, but there's a reason I don't charge you guys for the Sins games I make. They did have the foresight to release it at a lower price, so kudos for that, and I don't think I've seen a store yet that sells it for full price (and I got it on sale marked down from its already discounted budget price) so I don't know where my value for the money sits on this one. It's either a really cheap bad game or an expensive for WiiWare okay game.
Sins Committed: Buggy, No story, Bad combat, Bad controls, Fake difficulty, Frequent slowdown
Virtues Acted: Colorful graphics, Budget price, Pirates, pumpkin-headed enemies, and the undead call to me