Copyright Adam Schlosser
Contact:
aschloss@gmail.com


Copyright 2005 Adam Schlosser


Posted by Pip

BR24- Cucurbita Moschata Looks Like A Lady

Oh Envy, that's totally preposterous. You didn't mention ponies and ballet. Nobody is going to believe you if you leave out the other girly things. And if Fortune thinks her chest is enough for proof, you best remember those or Lust can make a few changes.
Breck is such a leech tease. Poor hungry, hungry Gluttony. Cultists are good eats.

There's a new image up for when you vote for Sins on Top Web Comics. A picture far more awesome than anything people are taking donations to build. Fear him, Detroit! Click Greed's link to vote!


Long, Badger Get! Review: Miles Edgeworth- The game suffers from the major flaws that caused me to stop playing the Phoenix Wright games. There's no hint system so if you get stuck or missed something, you're done for unless you have a walkthrough. Several moments in the game require enormous leaps in logic. There's often a logical or easy answer to peoples' questions but the game ignores them. In the introduction, a character with no motivation is accused of a crime with no evidence and is also accused with trying to pin it on her friend that defended her and there hasn't been any indication whatsoever that these two characters aren't still friends and they would have no reason to try to frame each other. The whole premise is stupid, all the characters involved know that's stupid, you as a player know who the murderer is, but you are given no option at any time to make Miles say, "You know, that's just kind of dumb.". The final nail in the PW series's coffin, even though you may have figured out the clues, what the mystery is, or where a witness's testimony is false, trying to figure how to get the game to let you answer is maddeningly difficult. Again, no spoilers since it's the intro, the characters are examining some files and they're out of order which completely blows apart the case and it's exceedingly obvious that the files are out of order. However, it took me over half an hour and two game overs to figure how to get Miles to perceive the file numbers. You even have the ability to make him look at the file numbers but nothing happens and trying to interact with them counts as a missed action and you're penalized, eventually leading to a game over. What you have to do is get him to look at a bullet hole, combine it with an only tangentially related piece of evidence, and then this will set in motion a series of events that will eventually get him to look at the file numbers and advance the game. Half an hour and a whole lot of teeth gnashing for something that would have taken at most ten seconds in real life. The text scrolls so slowly too, so getting the game over and having to repeat segments is extremely tedious. You can't speed it up until you've already gone through the conversation once (and sometimes it bugs out and makes you do the conversation twice before you can speed it up) and it doesn't have an option to make the text display faster. An option that was present on games for the NES 20 years ago. The first case is the least interesting because they straight-up show you the murder and murderer at the very beginning of the game. You're never trying to solve a crime or investigate something, you're just trying to get your character as smart as you are and wondering what it's going to take to get him up to speed. This case has the worst in flow as well. The latter cases require less grand leaps in logic and are much more reasonable. They do still require information you don't really have and there are times when you know more than Miles, but it's not as glaring and stupid as in the first case. The fourth case is incredibly boring. The characters aren't interesting, they have annoying traits that only serve to pointlessly extend the dialogue scenes (really don't need an entire slow text box for a character laughing every time she starts to talk), the story drags on, and even the case itself isn't interesting. There's a twenty minute scene that comes down to what order two people killed each other in despite the fact that it's blatantly obvious to the player that a third person was involved and you can't bring this up without jumping through hoops you know are wrong. It's even more annoying because the contradictions in the case are really obvious, especially compared to the logical leaps and bounds you had to make in the others. You'll solve large chunks of the case as soon as they're introduced but still have to plod though it. The same mostly goes for the fifth case. Instead of being the grand tie-it-all-together engrossing mystery the PW games have for the finale, it's just one incredibly long drawn-out chapter. There are about three or four events to solve in it and none of them are interesting gameplay or story-wise. There's a 45 minute long section that's just a flimsy reason to shoehorn Larry into the game. They introduce some magic science in Skye's forensics and Kay's computers, but thankfully it's only in limited segments. They just feel so out of place for Miles to do that stuff since it's kind of Nick's whole deal. And Nick never shows up! He gets mentioned a few times but he never is actually there and nobody ever says his name. Even Larry acts like he doesn't know Phoenix, which is beyond bizarre. The PW games aren't exactly known for their writing, grammatically-speaking, and this spin-off brings the typos with it. It's not as bad as the early PW games but how can you seriously miss "II'll" instead of "I'll" when it takes place during one of the games most dramatic scenes? The characters and writing are still funny. Little references to past PW games and several characters on the prosecution side are featured. Gumshoe is the ultimate lovable oaf. Miles firmly entrenches himself as The Man. Nick barely squeaked his way through his cases and every step of the way he needed to call down divine help from magic dead people. Miles? Straight up logic, deduction, smarts, and hotness. I mean... No, man or woman, there's nothing gay about being attracted to Miles. He's a force of nature. I adore the art and animation in the PW series. Everything from character designs to their reaction shots to little touches like how different characters have discernible differences in how they move and speak. Cammy Meele (Phoenix Wright vs Street Fight confirmed!) is a narcoleptic bimbo stewardess and the way her mouth stretches and flashes is funny every time she speaks. I actually prefer this spin-off to the main franchise, but it has a long way to go until it's a great game.
Sins Committed: Slow, Unclear objectives, Illogical puzzles
Virtues Acted: Great art, Funny dialogue, Good music, Miles is just so freaking awesome. And dreamy.