Copyright Adam Schlosser

Copyright 2005 Adam Schlosser

Posted by Pip


Hooray for education! See all the keen stuff they don't teach you in school? I bet you had to learn phonics when you could have been learning how to possess and morph people. Call out your teachers' ineptitude at your next reunion. How many of your assignments involved practicing glowing? They were holding out on you!
...Hopefully Lust knows that everybody's possessions and morphs will be different. I don't think anybody wants to see the result of Anger trying to make a cute farm girl too.

Quick Review: Transformers 3- Important caveat: I did not pay for my ticket. It was bought for me at a work event so I spent no money and would never spend money on this movie. I think that introduction could pretty much serve as the review itself. You could talk about the shameless product placement or the movie's utter disdain for women or just how little screen time the robots get but there's one scene that pretty much sums up the whole movie. In it, a conspiracy nut corners Sam in a bathroom stall and the conspiracy guy keeps calling himself by his codename “Deep Wang”. And just to beat the viewer over the head with it, they explicitly call out that they're parodying Deep Throat and then the scene ends with Sam's boss catching them and thinking they were having gay sex in the bathroom. If that scene strikes you as funny, you'll adore this movie. If you felt insulted at how stupid that description was, then there's hope for humanity yet.