Copyright Adam Schlosser
Contact:
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Copyright 2005 Adam Schlosser


Posted by Pip

LFL21- Hopefully No Dissections Took Place

Don't judge her! Maybe she was ordering them to build affordable housing or brew up some tasty soups for the less fortunate! Or maybe just a regiment focused on that while the rest of them work on sewing new outfits and brewing up new drinks that would blind any mortal that so much as smelled them. She's been busy. That's all I'm trying to say.
Of course, Devon might be leaving out the number of people that are purposefully causing injury to themselves just to get her as a doc. You don't REALLY need your left pinky finger, do you?

We also have our new TWC voting incentive picture up on their site. Some random fun this week, so vote for Sins as your blasphemous deity of choice to take a gander!

DDG updated over the weekend with the kind of deep emotional introspection that is guaranteed to cure your psychological problems. Either I'm overselling it or you owe me a rather hefty fee for services rendered.

There was also a piece of random art in the Fan Works section of the forum. Go check it out if you're up for it. Or if you're really bored and need to kill twenty seconds. Or even nineteen, I'm not picky.


Quick Review: Earth Defence Force: Insect Armageddon- I rented EDF knowing it was going to be really stupid and mindless, but I was kind of expecting it to be brainless but fun. The fun part is a wee bit important. Instead, it's really boring and a visual mess. There are hundreds of enemies in each stage, they have too much health, guns hold a pathetically small amount of ammo, your weapons take too long to reload even if you hit the active reload spot, your characters are incredibly weak, and your AI partners are borderline useless. Every objective I played was pretty much the same: Shoot a lot of bugs or blow up a structure. Then you move down the map a bit and repeat that objective a few dozen times against the same enemies over and over until the stage ends. There's no sense of thrill or power. You just fire a little pea shooter at something until it dies with bigger enemies just taking more damage before they collapse. No single enemy poses a remote threat, it's that the screen is so jam packed with enemies that you have no focus and you'll take damage from all sides. You just kill everything in front of you, run to that hole, enemies swarm around you again, and repeat. There are so many things firing, exploding, or crashing down that the screen frequently gets so filled up that you can't see your character or the enemies. So now you're firing at swarms you can't see and getting hit by fire that you now don't even know where it's coming from. There's nothing wrong with making a thoroughly "B-movie" kind of a game but there's no excuse for them to not be fun. Give me some cool guns, fearsome enemies, exciting objectives, etc. I should be leaping from explosions, lighting trails of gasoline on fire, or saving buxom scientists from the maws of a great beast. One of the first objectives you get is to set the self-destruct sequence on a ship and escape the blast zone, which sounds awesome, but in reality all you do is just walk away from it. There's no threat, you're never worried, and then it doesn't even have an explosion. You just get a notification from your director that, yep, it blew up. The one area they get the B-movie vibe right is with the background dialogue. You'll hear radio chatter as you play and some of it is great. Any game that has the line "God no, it's raining men!" spoken in complete sincerity gets at least a few points in its favor.