Copyright Adam Schlosser

Copyright 2005 Adam Schlosser

Posted by Pip

MRL7- In N Ouch

Oh Greed, you're a lovable wuss. At least the crown fell off when the host body passed out. Waking up with bleeding crown-induced wounds would be simultaneously awesome and horrifying. Awesofying. Horrifome.
I seriously hope nobody ever explains to Gluttony what going to the bathroom is all about. That would just blow her mind.

I went go-karting yesterday! Surprisingly, video games do NOT teach you good skills to bring to the track and power sliding isn't even remotely useful in many, many cases. Still crazy fun to do though. And I didn't come in last. Sadly enough, that is the metric I base my real life skills on. Did I come in last? No? Success!

Quick Review: Cladun- I want the simplified gameplay of a modern take on the original Legend of Zelda but what I absolutely don't want is the micromanaging and stats intensive menu navigation that Cladun presents. You can't just choose your weapon type and enter a level. You get hoards of loot in every stage, but practically everything you get is the same give or minus one or two stat points in some subcategory and you still get the beginning loot even when you're seven hours into the game. You have to manage your skills, your allies, and your weapon, armor, and shield. You have to set up how your allies are positioned on a special grid that grants you special abilities or stats all while maintaining your allies' stat points and how/where you assigned those stat points to grant you bonuses, possibly having to change and rework your grid depending on what you need for that particular area. If you want stats and management, you'll be in heaven but if you want an actual game, Cladun leaves oh so much to be desired. It's really a shame because if you find a setup that lasts a while or stumble across some good items so you don't have to keep switching out, the game is pretty good. It's a simple action-RPG fighting a bunch of cute or funny monsters with a character you really built yourself. I quit about halfway into the game though. I came up against a boss that was immune to physical attacks so you had to use magic characters to fight it. Problem here is that up until this point in the game, magic was never necessary so I didn't have any magic characters worth using and even if you have been leveling them, they still suck. Spells are weak, have a long cool down time, consume a lot of your mana so you can't cast many, and are slow and miss a lot. Aaaand magic users only have enough health to withstand one, maybe two, hits. So I was faced with either spending hours grinding levels to continue playing a game that wasn't fun to begin with or I could quit and move on to something else. NIS releases have such wasted potential. Beyond regular gameplay, you can't pause, change equipment, or save in dungeons. That's not so bad for the story dungeons because they're typically very short when they're not just mazes, but the random dungeon you use to level up always starts you at the first floor and it can take twenty minutes before you find enemies worth fighting. By the time I got to a useful point in the random dungeon, it was time to shut the game off. The characters are almost universally unlikable and there's just so much dialogue that goes nowhere, doesn't advance the character development or overall story, isn't funny, and wastes your time. Save your time and look for an action-adventure fix elsewhere.