Copyright Adam Schlosser

Copyright 2005 Adam Schlosser

Posted by Pip

MRL9- Secrets Of The Theater Industry

Note to our young, impressionable readers: Do NOT go around picking fights with monsters or beasts expecting to find puppies inside them! Marlowe hit upon a very special circumstance. If you pick a fight with a hippopotamus you will be rewarded with a gaping head wound, not a lovable pet.
Labor does not abide by interrupting tall tales with your sass! And given that Chastity has doled out far worse punishment to him in the past, she's lucky he doesn't hold a grudge against teammates.

DDG updated this weekend with a page that do Lust proud. And occupy the whole of the attention of most of the team.

TWC will be updated too and with Slothy goodness. Usually there's a reasoning behind the costumes I give him, but I have no idea why I went with this week's. Go go Sloth.

Quick Review: Ys Seven- The opening of Ys7 just puts you into a town with no direction or hint at what you're supposed to do. I wandered around aimlessly until I was bored out of my mind and checked an FAQ. That isn't the strongest way you can begin a game. Once you do get going, the characters just won't shut up. Aside from the main character, who is mute but oddly only to the player. Everybody else gets dialogue but when it's the main character's time to talk, his words are replaced by "Adol explained the situation...". That doesn't make any sense! Everybody else gets dialogue except for one person except we know that he actually is talking. Conundrums aside, after the story introduction, you're sent into overly long tutorials that treat you like you've never played a video game before. Once you're finally free of all that, you're left with item crafting, overly expensive items, button mashing combat, and a first boss that has ten times more health than is remotely necessary. Out of the hour and a half that I played the game, maybe twenty minutes was actually doing something and the rest was taken up by yammering and inane chatter. Those are a whole lot of strikes from the start and reason enough to not go on. If a game can be that tedious in a single day, that negates the good will I had towards the Ys franchise. Part of the reason I can no longer play Japanese RPGS is the godawful characters and terrible writing and now they're infecting action-adventure games. It's the only genre I can claim to care about anymore. Leave it alone!
Special mention goes to the names of places and peoples in the game: Afroca, the Romuns, and Europans. It starts off seeming like a typo, then you realize that they're doing it on purpose, and then it keeps going on and you start to wonder if they either have an awful translator or the least creative writer.