Copyright Adam Schlosser
Contact:
aschloss@gmail.com


Copyright 2005 Adam Schlosser


Posted by Pip

MRL25- Justice Has Gauntlets Too

The Empress just doesn't appreciate good fashion accessories. Sure wailing on monsters is a good thing, but Marlie wanted to do it with some style! Maybe Fortune's training paid off after all. Also, who lets a little kid just wander off to venture on his own?! The Tarot's whole “being constantly reborn” issue seems to have skewed their perception of just what a toddler is capable of. Although, even when grown-up, I wouldn't trust Hiero off alone.


The guys from the What's Cooking? Webcomic cookbook that I did the Sins page for contacted me and said they're trying to sell off the final books for the holidays so they're putting their store items on sale. I'm not sure if this version still has all the typos in our recipe but the profits go to a good cause, so if you're interested but haven't picked one up yet, you can save yourself a couple of bucks while supporting food banks.
http://webcomiccookbook.org/order/
Enter the code “AdamSins” (no quotes and it's case sensitive) to get 7.5% off your order. That's right, Slapeggs, there's a coupon code specifically tailored for me. We've hit the big time! Take THAT, Wikipedia notoriety requirements!
TGT tried to bribe me with a free magnet if they sell enough so I get the Virtue boost for helping a charity and the Sins boost for charity for selfish reason. The best kind of giving!


Long, There's an acid trip stage Review: Ratchet and Clank: Size Matters- Size Matters feels a lot more like a real Ratchet and Clank game than the disappointing Secret Agent Clank, so maybe there's merit in continuing the suggestive names for sequels. For a 3D platformer on the PSP, it handles pretty well despite only having one analogue stick, as long as you set the default controls to strafe. The only weirdness comes from the high jump and long jumps, where you have to press L, R, and X at the same time when standing still/running, respectively. It's an awkward setup that doesn't always work and given how few times you actually have to do this in the game, they probably shouldn't have put it in in the first place. Actually, aside from the tutorial where you're told to do these moves, I don't think I ever used them outside of goofing off.
There are a lot of elements in the game that show up pretty much at random and solely to say "Hey, you're playing a Ratchet game!". One level has Skunch appear in a rocketship, hand something to Clank, and then fly away. Okaaay... Then Clank becomes Giant Clank for the heck of it and proceeds to fly through an meteor shower filled with enemies when the area off to his side by only a few meters is completely free of both enemies and meteors. Clank, protector of Time, genius robot, too dumb to move a little to the left. The weapons are fairly uninteresting too. They're just a mishmash of weapons from previous games and not even the really good ones either. Was anybody really clamoring for the return of the Suck Cannon or Hive Mine? The game is also under the impression that you're going to sit around grinding your weapon levels. Unless you die constantly, you'll progress through the game at a pace that ensures you're always too weak and you have to sit around blasting enemies for far too long and the boss fights are an endurance test to see if you can keep your eyes open for long enough.
If there's anything even remotely resembling a vehicle, be it a hoverboard, a suit you jump into, Giant Clank, you name it, it's going to be some of the most awful, poorly designed dreck that deserved to get somebody fired. Awful camera, awful controls, cheap difficulty, and completely devoid of fun. Some segments don't even have checkpoints, so if you managed to stay awake through the overly long and I can't stress how awful it is Giant Clank shooter segments only to die at the end because enemies attack you from off screen, you have to do the whole damned thing all over again from scratch. I'm guessing these segments were all done later in development to create “variety” and they ran out of time to clean them up/make it not terrible because the whole game is pretty buggy. I was stuck on the very first level for a while because I kept hitting an invisible wall and there wasn't any other route to go. I finally started running through the level in reverse and my first time through one of the rooms, the tutorial hadn't spawned, it spawned now that I came through backwards, and I was able to walk through where the invisible wall was and continue the level. I even hit that same exact issue when mucking around with the challenge mode. If I hit the same bug twice in two attempts without doing anything out of the ordinary, that should have been fixed. Another level had me thinking I was doing the wrong thing because the item I was guiding refused to go into its spot. I gave up, ran around for a bit, couldn't find any alternate routes, came back, and found that if I moved the item a few spaces to the side, THEN it would go in. Even the item select screen can glitch so Ratchet's head, hands, and feet appear on one part of the screen and his limbs and body appear at the top of the screen. That one is just more funny that game breaking though.
If you've never played a Ratchet and Clank game before and all you have is a PSP, sure, Size Matters is worth a buy (especially seeing as how you can get it for $5 now). However, if you've already played Ratchet 1 or 3, you've already seen everything the game offers and it's not good enough to warrant the money or time unless you have nothing else to play.
Sins Committed: Vehicle segments, Buggy, Bad story
Virtues Acted: Good controls, Good action, No QTE/Guitar Hero minigame events in a freaking action game